What do we really want in our relationships?

. . . what we want more deeply than winning.

When our relationship is in conflict, we may think that our partner always has the last word. We think it would feel good, just once, to come out on top. If our relationship is like a poker game, the winner takes all. We scramble to be the winner at almost any cost. If our partner wins, we feel like the loser. If we score a point, then our partner feels like the loser. In the end, if either one has lost, what have we won? Certainly not serenity.

What do we really want in our relationships? Do we want to stay in the fight until we score the final knockout? No. We want companionship and connection. To get beyond the game, one partner must stand up and say what she or he wants more deeply than winning. When we stand in favor of communication, our relationship improves.

Name what you really want in your relationship.

Today’s thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

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